Stop Porn

J0

J2 I felt shy to post my failure, because I didn't honor the advice I was given by someone who wanted to help me stop. I wanted to stop with my own willpower. I am sorry bro.. I will listen now

J3 Well at least it was done without porn, that’s always it.

J7 It's a little more itchy but it's bearable. 
Come on, vigilance and performance 
Be 

J54 on tient on y croit

J3 I stay on my guard and take control of myself.

J1956 I have consulted typical sex shop sites since this morning, particularly for fetish clothing which I will not detail, and sex toys, as well as lingerie (no purchase).
I bought some for a nice sum on Sunday already (more than 300/400€, 5 different purchases linked to that).
I had my first debtor anonymous meeting that same evening after beating around the bush for a long time, and after an SA member told me about his own experience there a few days before.


I did affiliated image searches on Google for fetish clothing, to see the rendering with other photos of the models present on the merchant sites, or to see the rendering of a color of the material in question. Things leading to others, I came across sites bordering on photography, because they were clearly erotic for some (I registered on one of these fairly well-known sites which is not pornographic, then I deleted the account later in the day, because it was not good for me after my total relapse today).


Things continued with product searches, then I consciously relapsed onto a type of completely pornographic content because the model was not a photo model who takes photos for fetish sales sites, but a model who does porn (she had a product on her that I coveted). Then I took out a subscription which I deleted immediately, I had two acting outs (2 masturbations) with no other use than the screen (image/videos without sound), no object or anything else used. 


Everything is linked I must say to my search for a favorite product, the affiliated Google image search was a risky idea, a risk already taken in the past, I have been playing with the lights like this for too long, now I am paying for my inconsistency in half measure.

So I reset my 2 counters, masturbation and porn stopped for over 5 years.
In the end I didn't spend anything else, but I got through all the possible relapses...

J240 Hello everyone, I am announcing my breakdown last Friday, I know that I could have held on I am used to it, it was not at all due to a strong impulse or a strong excitement, I had a desire and despite hesitation, I ended up giving in, there was weariness to tell the truth, I was tired of holding on and that day, I had a withdrawal which had already been repeated not every day. days but for two weeks before, like when you don't see a friend leaving my seasonal job. 
And I no longer had any inspiration to create my own scenarios in my head, there too, I was tired. And when you start watching it again, in addition to masturbating, there's an alchemy, I don't know, but it's much more enjoyable.

At the time I felt a little normal, but I no longer eat my brain like before, being used to going several months without watching this stupid sequel.
It sucks in quotes to start everything from scratch but that's okay, I'm better equipped than before with all these months of rebooting.


the only thing that bothers me is that I have a hard time, really a hard time keeping it together in the long term, I always end up breaking down. I am more of a spirit, a sprinter than a marathon runner.
I had already seen a sexologist in April 2024, I was well rated on Google. explaining my longevity problem without watching porn.
But in the end I was not satisfied. It was not what I expected.

It's been a long time since I observed the causes, and in particular being single since your first masturbation, it hurts 😣 
in any case, I really thought I would do a year, that was the goal I had set in mind, but in the end I stopped at about eight months, well, that's already not bad compared to others who struggle or who simply can't do it.
But what annoys me is chaining your withdrawal and always coming back to the point. A (porn).

I don't know if I'm going to take up the challenge now or wait until August or not come back here again and be sure that on stopfap, it's quite a lot of times to rest, going through withdrawals, it's mentally tiring. Maybe I'm weaned after so long. 
I'm wary, I still watched porn for three days, it's a gluttony, a bit like a pro bodybuilder who eats pizza again after the competition.

Honestly. I didn't think that my addiction would be so tough, moreover, I have never found a palliative for my two addictions, porn and Fap, it is only there that I manage to escape from all this world of bullies of my anxieties, even reading is not as powerful, nor even sport to compensate. And with the Internet you have access to all the photos of (good) women, tall little blondes and black Martians. That doesn't help at all, even if they're just pixels. In any case, I might try my luck again with a sexologist.


Despite the many books I have ordered lately. I ordered a new book on the theme of pornography that I had never explored in books before. To put an end to porn, understand the influence of thwarting sexual misery by Thomas Julien, published by Saint-Léger.

Take care of yourself and don’t give up! 

J5 The desire for porn is well contained.
That of emptying the reserves comes back well on the other hand...

J1 It's gone again for good this time, I'm starting again with a little more seriousness and determination (the last attempts, I made more out of "automatism" than out of real determination).

J4 Today I decided to sleep with my phone and I felt right back into my addiction. Wake up by urges.


ps. All the days before I left the phone in the living room. I never got woken up by urges.
This works for me, and I believe with this I am going to free myself from the addiction 

J0 I indicate this cracking above all for myself, for the sake of honesty with myself and in view of recent thoughts. 

J0 Here we go again

J51 Hard hard but we hold on 

J36 No desire

J4 I removed the protection. But still not even tendentious content consulted.
We stay the course

J3 It doesn't matter, I'll get up and go again.

J3 I sense something that pushes me to occasionally return to bad habits but so far I'm controlling it quite well. I pay attention to it

J3 No more bullshit

J1952

You still want reasons to stop, to understand what's going on inside you, why you can't come out of it?


The answer, you are dependent/addiction. A video that feels good, and which also reminds me why I stopped. Even after more than 5 years, I came close to a relapse at one point, so let’s remember why we’re doing this.

J9 Another day without porn, how good I feel....

J0 I started abstinence from porn yesterday, today I am overwhelmed with desires, my loneliness does not help me.
It's extremely hot but I'll be out for a few steps.
I have to be strong 

J0 I just want to free myself from this addiction that destroys me day after day.

J3 Little by little, I am regaining the control that I have lost for two months.

J1 Well, the feeling at the moment is that I seem to have made the rounds of porn and I'm having a much harder time finding excitement.
I'm taking this opportunity to move towards other horizons even if my need for intensity will have to find another outlet...
It’s all the (beautiful) path that remains for me to go

J0 On the road to brigadier General 🏁

J1 After I woke up, my urges was strong. Had me ignore all relights 

J10 I'm proud I was able to last 10 days, a score that I haven't done for a long time, unfortunately out of curiosity I wanted to watch Twiiter for the CDM action, I fell accidentally and followed an erotic dream and still contained, I broke down. I'm going to have to be more careful...

J8 I went on vacation for the FSSPX episcopal coronations, it was great!

Sleeping in a different environment really allowed me to fish a lot and to sanctify myself 

J0 Productive day, despite my recent breakdowns. 

J6 Today I am on my 7th day without watching a ball film, it hasn't happened in a while and I'm really proud of it